


the way you say my name

by tjmcharg



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adopted Keith (Voltron), Adopted Sibling Relationship, First Kiss, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Keith & Shiro (Voltron) are Foster Siblings, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Orphan Keith (Voltron), Pining Shiro (Voltron), Young Keith (Voltron), broganes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 13:52:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21209612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tjmcharg/pseuds/tjmcharg
Summary: Shiro was constantly moving, between the seven year old he was raising, his two jobs, college and finding time for sleep, he didn't have time for a boyfriend.He told himself he didn't want a boyfriend.But Adam made it so difficult.





	the way you say my name

**Author's Note:**

> im so excited to be sharing this fic with you guys  
im dedicating this fic to sara because i specifically told her "encourage me not to write this" and she did the exact opposite and im actually really proud of how it turned out, so thank you sara. also because she reignited by love for adashi and that makes me happy. 
> 
> massive thank you to everyone who helped with this fic!  
the kws gc for constantly encouraging me and letting me send you guys snippets and excited rambles and title ideas  
kristine and rachel for their amazing work betaing, it would've been a mess without you guys 
> 
> hope you enjoy!!!

Shiro got the call that changed his life on a bright and sunny Tuesday at 3:17 pm. 

A social worker, who he would never remember the name of, was behind the phone call. In a pseudo-sympathetic voice, she informed him that his uncle had died, leaving behind a now orphaned Keith, with Shiro as his only living relative. Altogether this was too much heavy information to hear on a bright and cheery Tuesday afternoon. He had the choice of working out the paperwork to adopt the young boy or letting him go into foster care. He didn’t even hesitate. 

That was the anti-climatic way that Takashi Shirogane - at the ripe age of nineteen and fresh out of high school - became the sole guardian of a seven year old boy. 

  
  
  


Keith wasn’t actually Shiro’s blood relative. When his father remarried after Shiro’s mother died his new step-mother was a struggle to adjust to. She was lovely in every way, trying her best to make teenage Shiro feel comfortable and at home in her presence, but it was difficult for him to see her as family. She was simply a figure who happened to live with him, and, despite his father’s protests, in his young mind, she was taking his mother’s place. Eventually as a means to connect Shiro to her family she suggested a little family reunion take place. The reunion consisted of five people, Shiro, his father, his stepmother, her brother - Texas Kogane, and his son, Keith. 

Shiro thought back on it as he stood in the airport waiting for Keith, five days after that fated phone call. The reunion had been four years ago, which was three years before his father and step-mother died in a car crash. Texas had been a kind man, as lovely as his sister, but to Shiro, Keith took all the attention. He was a loud and wild toddler, eager to ask questions and talkative with the whole small bunch. Shiro remembered how he had smiled, wide and flashing rows of teeth riddled with gaps. He remembered how Keith had demanded Shiro lift him, and seizing Shiro’s face between his ravioli sized palms said with all the seriousness a three year old could muster, “Don’t stick forks in toasters.” 

Only later did Shiro discover that the toddler had been sure the reason for Shiro’s prosthetic arm was that he had stuck a fork in a toaster and it had been fried off. Despite not seeing Keith again since that moment stuck with him throughout the coming years. 

He was thinking back on that moment now, as Keith was ushered towards him by a social worker, because he was sure there the boy standing in front of him same rambunctious toddler he met. Keith was short for his age, with round cheeks, framed by wild black hair which looked as though it hadn’t been brushed for days. He was staring at the floor, solemn and still as a statue, hands clutching the straps of his backpack as though they were a lifeline.   
Shiro ducked down to sit on his feet and held out a hand, trying his best to will an inviting smile onto his face as Keith stared at the airport tarquette.   
“Hey buddy, I’m Shiro, remember me?” He offered.   
Keith glanced up, dark eyes sitting on even darker bags, without so much as a word and it suddenly hit Shiro how difficult this was going to be. He drew his hand back as Keith simply held tighter to his backpack. Neither said a word. 

  
  
  
  
  


Keith didn’t speak to him until a week later. They were sitting on the couch, Shiro flicking through channels on the TV and trying to gauge by the level of interest in Keith’s eyes as to whether he wanted to watch or not. His eyes flicked to Keith’s chewed nail beds and wringing fingers and decided to try asking the question once more, the one question they had both been evading despite its importance. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked, deliberately staring at the TV, as he tried not to pressure Keith into an answer. There was a long silence, as there usually was when Keith was involved, and Shiro tried not to be too disheartened as the seconds ticked past on the clock resting against the mantle.   
“Fine,” came a hushed response. Keith’s voice was quiet, gruff from disuse and far deeper than would be expected from a boy as young as he was, but that one word brought Shiro to tears.   
“Good, good- that’s really good,” Shiro stammered, scrubbing at the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes with the heel of his hand. Keith stared ahead, refusing to meet Shiro’s teary eyes, but his shoulders seemed to rest a little more comfortably and that was all Shiro could ask for. 

  
  
  
  


It took another week for a full sentence response. 

Having a child to look after while trying to apply for another job to cover the cost of living was taking a serious toll on Shiro’s social life. After  _ another _ one of his friends got frustrated at him for pulling out of plans, he deserved a treat damn it. Which was how he found himself rummaging through his freezer, in the hopes that he had somehow missed a tub of ice-cream somewhere in its depth.   
Keith snuck up to sit on the bench in all his silent glory, scaring the shit out of Shiro when he finally emerged, brandishing his ice-cream bounty proudly.   
“Sorry kiddo you scared me,” he explained as he placed the ice-cream onto the bench beside Keith and grabbed a spoon for himself, “You want some ice-cream?”   
Keith blinked twice before shaking his head and mumbling, “I’m allergic to milk stuff.” 

It took two weeks of living with Keith to find out in this eloquent manner that his seven year old responsibility was lactose intolerant. 

  
  
  
  


Finally, three weeks later, Keith approached Shiro, a finger in his mouth as he chewed on the nail insistently and a determined glint in his eye. Shiro was trying his hardest to scramble together something edible for the two of them to eat using the three packets of ramen and half an apple he had in the kitchen. Before Keith, he had eaten a shit ton of take-out and tried to ignore the niggling part of his brain that told him none of his parents would approve, but now he felt a moral obligation to at least try to make substantial meals for the two of them. This resulted in little success and many wrinkled noses on Keith’s behalf.   
“Shiro?” Keith said in his soft, gruff voice, startling Shiro so much he almost dropped a pot on his own foot.   
“Yes- I mean -” Shiro scrambled to place the pot on the bench and leant over to look at the small boy, “I mean - Yeah - uh, yep?”   
The small twitch of Keith’s mouth was enough for the embarrassment rooted in his stumbling to melt away. The expression hardly lasted a second, but it was enough to make warmth bloom in Shiro’s heart and reassure him that maybe he could do this. Maybe he could raise this kid and not fuck it up. 

“Do you have a teddy or something for me to hug when I sleep?” Keith asked, his voice dipping even softer until he was practically mumbling under his breath. Shiro heard the request all the same. He began to respond, however Keith was quick to cut over him. “It’s just that I used to sleep with a teddy at home but it got lost and I think that’s why I’m not sleeping well.”   
Shiro gaped for a moment. Keith had never said so many words in his presence since they began living together. He tended to barely speak at all unless absolutely necessary, so this willing exchange of information was unheard of. No matter how false the reasoning - both knew that Keith wasn’t sleeping badly because of a lack of a stuffed toy, but something else in his life - this was monumental.   
He swallowed dryly before nodding, “yeah kiddo, of course,” he hesitated and admitted, “but I don’t think I have one.” 

Instantly Keith was apologising, “Oh that’s fine I don’t really need-” He attempted to back away, knocking over a stool.   
Shiro launched forward, almost crashing into the bench in his haste, “Hey Keith woah,” he said as gently as he could. Stopping in front of Keith he knelt down so they were eye to eye, “How about we go and get you an animal to sleep with yeah?” He suggested. Before Keith made a move to protest and he added, “we’ll make it a little bonding moment, get you a cool teddy and get dinner since,” he lowered his voice for effect “- we both know I’m not the greatest of cooks.”   
Keith let out a little snort into his hand (which Shiro was absolutely taking as a win) and nodded. 

Later, with Keith stuffing McDonalds fries into a smiling mouth and hugging a purple hippo, Shiro was positive he was doing something right. 

Keith named the hippo Kosmo. 

  
  
  
  


“Look ma’am,” Shiro was practically begging at this point, his voice strained as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “I’m raising a child  _ alone _ at nineteen, I’m not trying to be difficult, I just cannot attend class at that time.”   
The woman huffed into the phone, equally frustrated with him. The phone vaguely picked up the sounds of her clicking at the keyboard. “I’m sorry Mr Shirogane, there are no other slots available in your schedule for that class,” she said.   
He bit down on his tongue almost hard enough to draw blood, trying not to show Keith how agitated he was. The woman breathed heavily into the receiver. “The best I can do for you is swap you into a similar class, will that be alright?” 

He wanted to say no so badly. He wanted to demand she find a way, a loophole, a solution. He could ask the Holts to pick up Keith after school with Pidge and he could stay there an hour while Shiro did the class. He could shake the phone and complain until the woman with the nasally voice who butchered his last name made the necessary adjustments. 

Except as he looked over at Keith sitting at the kitchen bench he knew he couldn’t. The young boy was chewing on the end of his pencil, eyebrows furrowed as he struggled to work out first grade maths and Shiro knew any sacrifice he had to make would be worth it. Keith was too nervous, talking to Shiro but no one else, to the point where Shiro was receiving a phone call a day from Keith’s well meaning teacher. Trying to juggle him with a family he had yet to meet would be too harsh, and trying to adjust his schedule would only drag out this ridiculous phone bill and logically amount to nothing. 

As he looked at Keith with his large handwriting and chewed up pencil he knew this was worth it. 

“Whatever you can do.” 

  
  
  
  


Once the Holts returned from their vacation, Shiro organised for them to come over right away. Keith’s antisocial nature was becoming a fair issue at school and though Pidge was only a year younger, she was as good a bet to urge Keith into talking that Shiro had.   
“How’re you holding up?” Matt asked as they leaned against the bench to watch their siblings interact. Pidge was doing all the talking and directing, with Keith following along obediently with a permanent scowl.   
Shiro took a long sip of coffee, “Aside from you being the only friend still in contact with me?”  
Matt winced, nodding sympathetically without turning away from Pidge’s game she was preparing with unsuspecting Keith.

“You said he’s talking now yeah?” Matt tipped his head towards Keith.   
“To me? Yeah.”   
“But not to other kids?”  
Shiro nodded, eyes trained on the small boy attempting to follow the wild instructions of his new acquaintance.   
Keith wasn’t speaking a word, but Shiro had grown adept at reading the kid’s facial expressions and he seemed to be relaxing into the interaction; and to her credit, Pidge didn’t appear to be thrown off by Keith’s silence at all. She appeared to be directing Keith into a game of superheroes, with the two pretending to fly metal lion robots fighting purple aliens. 

“She’s obsessed with that game at the moment,” Matt explained with a grin, pulling Shiro by the shoulders to be seated at his cheap Ikea kitchen stools. Shiro settled into the rhythm of the afternoon. As time wore on, Keith’s voice began to join Pidge’s battle cries and soon the small apartment was alive with playful chatter.   
Shiro and Matt traded stories about the last few months of their life over the shouts and cries of Pidge and the soft, amused responses of Keith. Matt telling Shiro about his weird extended family and their reunion in Italy, and the confusion of having to explain Pidge’s self-dubbed nickname through language gaps; Shior reciprocates with his stories about his experiences with Keith and preparing for college. 

Matt was in the middle of a story about a cute Italian girl he had met during his stay when Shiro heard it. Keith was laughing. His shock was enough to stump Matt into silence as they both spun to look at the kids in the living room. This laugh was full bellied and loud, not like the chuckles or giggles Shiro had been managing to draw out of the boy, but boisterous and wheezing. Keith was doubled over at the waist, clutching his stomach and smiling so widely Shiro could see the lost tooth at the side of his mouth. Meanwhile, Pidge pouted from her position on the floor, legs flung over her head from a failed jump to defeat ‘Zarkon’. 

Pidge kept coming over after that. 

Shiro didn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day. 

  
  
  
  


Despite Keith’s continued assurances that he would be fine at school, he still worried. The first day of college was stressful on a normal day and he would be too far away to do something. Technically, he didn’t even want to be in this class, but it was the only option he had been able to find to fit with Keith’s schedule, so he made do. His mind rattled off a million and one scenarios: there could be a fire, Keith could be sick, someone could punch him, he could punch someone, what if he caught an incurable virus? Shiro was practically on his feet ready to run home when someone sat in the chair beside him. 

The boy was dark skinned, with a chiseled jaw that could cut ice, eyes dark and shining with a smile behind thin glasses as he stuck out a hand to greet Shiro.  _ Oh shit he’s cute. _

“I’m Adam,” cute boy said, shaking Shiro’s hand firmly. “And you would be?”   
“Shiro,” he responded, hoping to every heavenly deity to exist that he didn’t sound as gobsmacked as he felt.   
“Shiro? Haven’t heard that one before,” cute boy, Adam, said as he settled into his seat and pulled out his laptop.   
He sounded genuinely curious, like Shiro’s name was an oddity he was determined to work out and Shiro found himself speaking without forethought, “My name’s actually Takashi.”   
The fact he admitted that was a shock to even Shiro himself. He hadn’t gone by Takashi since his dad’s death, but something about Adam’s smile made Shiro’s tongue loosen and words slip past. 

“Takashi,” Adam hummed, testing the name out on his tongue as though it were a sweet candy. Shiro would fight rivers, destroy oceans, or even tie down sunshine just to hear Adam say his name like that again. He was probably getting ahead of himself. “I like that name,” Adam said and Shiro simply nodded, fearing too much what he would say if he opened his mouth.   
It was dangerous to be this smitten with a boy he had just met. He attempted to wrangle the colourful thoughts dancing around his head, lassoing them with reminders of why it was a bad idea to chase fantasies. 

_ He has a gorgeous smile.  _

He’s probably straight. 

_ How would that dark skin feel beneath my hands?  _

There is permanently a child in your care. 

_ My name sounds like honey on his lips.  _

He’s just being polite. 

Adam smiled again and Shiro had to bite his tongue to keep from swooning at the sight.   
“Okay  _ Takashi _ ,” Adam said softly, “I look forward to getting to know you better.” 

  
  
  
  


Shiro was suffering through homework when Keith tapped his leg.   
“Shiro?” He asked and Shiro grunted in response. The numbers were swirling in his mind and no amount of thinking was making sense of them. Keith tried again, prodding Shiro’s leg until he looked up.   
“I have something to ask you but you have to promise not to cry,” Keith said seriously. His eyebrows were furrowed as he concentrated on his words.   
“What’s up kiddo?” Shiro turned so he was fully facing Keith, leaning down to allow their conversation to be face to face.   
Keith shook his head, “Promise not to cry.”   
“I can do no such thing.”   
Keith crossed his arms tightly over his chest with a pout, blowing his bangs out of his eyes in exasperation. (Shiro made a mental note to book him a haircut.) 

“Try not to cry?” Keith pleaded and Shiro shrugged as a means of placating him. Apparently deciding that was the best he would get - he was right - Keith forged forward with his question. “I made a friend at school and I was wondering if he could come over tomorrow?” Keith burst out in one long breath.   
Shiro did try not to cry, he really did, but the words had barely left Keith’s lips before tears were welling in his eyes proudly. He tugged Keith into a tight hug as a means of answer and though Keith grumbled and complained Shiro could feel the way he clung to Shiro’s shirt and knew he appreciated the gesture. 

Lance came over the very next day. He was a wild boy of “seven and three quarters Mr. Shiro sir,” with freckles covering nearly every square inch of his face and a smile that stretched his cheeks wide. He held Keith’s hand firmly in his own for the entire time the two boys spoke. It didn’t escape his notice just how widely Keith was smiling in Lance’s presence. Shiro didn’t cry; but when the scattering footsteps retreated into Keith’s room with excited whooping from Lance and laughter from Keith, whether Shiro wiped away a few stray tears well… no one had to know but him. 

  
  
  
  


Shiro tried incredibly hard to keep himself from growing attached to Adam. He tried to keep their friendship as just that, a friendship; but Adam made it incredibly difficult.   
He not only made an effort to talk to Shiro before every class, but had Shiro not known better Adam might have even been flirting with him. He complimented Shiro on his eyes, clothes, hair and even shoes at one point. It was safe to say Adam was the kindest person to ever exist. 

So between the compliments and the way Adam said his name,  _ Takashi _ , the growing fondness for him was hardly Shiro’s fault.   
“I’m just saying he looks a bit like a frog,” Adam shrugged finishing his story about their professor with an amused smile tugging at his lips, over the brim of his coffee cup. Shiro was  _ not  _ looking at the way his soft lips seemed to kiss the rim of his cup as the liquid made his Adam’s apple bob. He  _ wasn’t.  _

Adam had asked him to come early and grab a coffee with him before class, since it lined up perfectly with drop off time for Keith, Shiro had no power to deny. Which was how Shiro found himself sitting across from the boy he resolutely didn’t have a crush on; who had a moustache of frothy white foam sitting on his upper lip.   
“You have a little something,” Shiro gestured to his own lips. Adam followed his instructions blindly, trying to lick the froth off with crossed eyes.  
_ Cute.  _ He squashed the thought. 

“Here just let me.” Shiro was moving before his brain even caught up to his own actions. He wiped the froth off with one swipe of his thumb before freezing as he realised what he had done. It was too late, he was frozen in place, thumb resting on Adam’s lips and fingers curling gently around the boy’s jaw. He pulled away shakily, brain swallowed in fog and spiralling with oh so gay thoughts.   
“Do I not rock the white moustache?” Adam teased. His voice was slightly breathy, but that could definitely be from the cold air getting to him. This coffee shop could use better heating.   
“As cute as it was, definitely not doing you any favours,” Shiro teased back. 

Adam leaned forward with a cocky smile, “So you think I’m cute?” Shiro felt his heart skipped several beats, thundering in his ribcage as Adam’s nose moved closer, inches from his own.   
As he stammered for words, Adam’s smile turned soft. His eyes drifted over Shiro’s shoulder to focus on something there. Shiro turned to see two boys, who couldn’t have been older than fifteen, shyly holding hands and trading whispered comments until they were both red as a fire truck. 

Adam sighed wistfully, “I wish I could’ve been like that in high school,” he admitted, voice nostalgic and softened at the edges by sadness, longing for times long gone.   
“What do you mean?” Shiro asked. This side of Adam was entirely new to him. Though Adam was incredibly put together he wasn’t particularly quiet; he was charismatic and charming by nature.   
There was a pause, long and surprisingly comfortable as Adam looked at the boys for a moment longer before turning his attention back to Shiro. He shrugged, “I was so closeted in high school I barely could come out to myself, took me till senior year to come to terms with my sexuality,” he told Shiro, voice still warm and tender. 

What Shiro meant to say was  _ that must have been difficult.  _ It was an experience he related to so strongly; but the stronger side, the gay side, was so busy barraging him with excited thoughts that what he asked instead was: 

“You’re gay?” 

Adam blinked at him, nodded slowly as though that was a shocking question to be asked in this conversation.   
“Are you?” He asked, with confidence Shiro would kill for. He was so self-assured in his question, Shiro wouldn’t have been surprised to discover he already knew the answer.   
“Yeah, I am,” Shiro managed, sounding significantly more calm than he was.   
Adam nodded with a bright smile that sent Shiro’s heart racing. 

“Well Takashi,” he murmured, bringing his coffee to his lips once again, “I’m very glad to hear that.”  
That response would play like a broken record in Shiro’s mind for hours. 

  
  
  
  


Shiro discreetly wiped at the tears in his eyes with the cuff of his best dress shirt. Keith rolled his eyes at him and Shiro couldn’t find it in himself to be annoyed by that. Not when Keith’s teacher had looked him in the eye and told him that Keith’s improvement was something he should be proud of. Thinking about it now made tears well in his eyes again. He was doing this right. He smiled down at the boy skipping beside him, trying to wipe his tears again without Keith noticing - but of course he did.   
“You cry a lot for someone who’s actually a grown up,” Keith teased, reaching up to take Shiro’s hand in his own, succeeding in nothing but making Shiro cry harder. 

“Well you have a lot of sass for a seven year old,” Shiro rebutted, squeezing Keith’s hand and reaching up to ruffle the young boy’s hair.   
Keith looked proud of himself, directing a smug smile up at Shiro, “Thank you.”   
The school was full of bright colours, paintings made by students decorating every inch of the walls. Keith dragged him up to a painting framed alongside what looked like twenty others and pointed to it.   
“We were told to draw our favourite things,” Keith explained. 

The picture was simple, drawn in childish scribble but mostly discernible. A stick figure with black scribbly hair was positioned in the centre, with a purple hippo by his side, a grey blob above him and a taller stick figure holding his hand.   
Keith pointed to the centre figure, “That one’s me,” he said.   
“This is Kosmo?” Shiro asked pointing to the hippo with a smile, finally managing to dry most of his tears.   
Keith nodded solemnly, standing on his tiptoes to point to the grey blob, “That’s Dad,” he said, his voice soft. Shiro swallowed heavily as he squinted at the grey blob realising it was the ghost of Texas Kogane, a ‘hand’ on young Keith’s head.   
He pointed to the tall figure holding Keith’s hand, “and who’s this?”   
“It’s you, _ duh _ ,” Keith said, clutching Shiro’s hand tighter. Shiro stared at the drawing, resembling how they were standing in this very second, his tears returning with a vengeance. 

“KEITH!” A scream drew them out of the serene pocket of the school they had created together. Shiro turned just in time to see Lance barrelling towards them before Keith was letting go of his hand in preparation. In due time too, the second Keith opened his arms Lance was springing from the ground to launch himself into Keith’s waiting hug, squishing their cheeks together with a ringing laugh.   
“I missed you!” Lance cried, pulling away from Keith with a dramatic lean, hanging off his shoulders before tugging the boy into another tight hug.   
“I saw you at school today Lance,” Keith grumbled with a smile. The smile didn’t escape Shiro’s notice; nor did the way he was burying his face into Lance’s shoulder. 

“Lance, mijo, don’t crush him,” a woman warned, tugging two children towards the trio and calling over her shoulder to another. She smiled warmly at Shiro and instantly he felt safe, she had a quality to her that was indescribably motherly. Her figure dumpy, her skin tanned and her smile gentle. “I’m Rosa, Lance’s mother.”   
Shiro responded in turn by introducing himself, smiling back at her. He gestured to the two boys, Lance talking Keith’s ear off and Keith grinning so wide Shiro was sure his cheeks would fall off. “I have to thank you for raising such a lovely boy. He’s done Keith a world of good.”   
Rosa’s eyes crinkled warmly, taking Shiro’s hand in her own and saying seriously, “I think you’ll find it’s the other way around.”

The words left Shiro with a soft buzzing in his chest. He couldn’t have stopped smiling if he wanted to. 

  
  
  
  


His feelings for Adam were getting out of control. As their friendship grew, so did the spiralling thoughts in the dark of Shiro’s room; thoughts of bright smiles, their hands touching in fleeting moments before and after class, mind reeling with  _ I’m very glad to hear that _ and  _ Takashi _ . Always Takashi.   
Shiro couldn’t so much as turn off the light at night without seeing Adam’s lips and imagining how they would feel against his, how those dark hands could map out Shiro’s skin. He imagined the way he could take Adam’s hand in his own, using it to tug their lips forward to meet, how Adam would smile into the kiss. 

He clicked on the light.   
It didn’t help that Adam was shamelessly charismatic, or that his words were constantly chasing Shiro, complimenting him. Shiro wasn’t an idiot, gay or not Adam was off limits. Firstly, there was a very low chance of Adam actually being interested in him. More importantly, Shiro hardly had time to spare for a chance to breathe, let alone care for a boyfriend. He was constantly on the move.   
Wake up. Get Keith ready for school. Rush to campus. Scramble to get his work done during lunch. Work at the laundromat. Pick Keith up and set him up at a table in the restaurant as Shiro worked his second job. Hope to get Keith to bed at a reasonable hour. Finish his homework. Collapse into bed. Rinse and repeat. There wasn’t a second to spare. 

Shiro hugged his knees to his chest, taking a deep breath. Adam was the kind of boy that made Shiro want to say  _ fuck it  _ and just throw responsibility to the wind, but Keith was more important than that. 

Except Adam didn’t know about Keith. 

The guilt was eating Shiro alive. Especially as he and Adam grew closer in their friendship. It felt wrong not to tell him about the newly eight year old who took up such a large portion of Shiro’s life. It wasn’t that he was hiding Keith from Adam, he just hadn’t mentioned him. Deflecting questions which would lead down the path to a confession. It was here in the darkness of his bedroom that Shiro allowed himself to dwell on the guilt which stemmed from the choice to keep Keith a secret. 

He didn’t want to lose Adam. So many friends had realised Shiro didn’t have time for them anymore and instead of stepping up to the plate as would be expected or at the very least, hoped for, they slipped away into the shadows; leaving Shiro struggling and alone to raise a child he loved based on instinct and luck. He didn’t want Adam to do the same.   
“I’ll tell him before the end of the semester,” Shiro promised the empty air. 

He justified his reasoning to himself. The end of semester gave him time to build a stronger friendship with Adam, get over the feelings for him which was growing in his heart, the perfect time to fill the boy in. 

This reasoning did nothing to stop him from noticing that the dark colouring of his covers in the moonlight was the same colour as Adam’s eyes before his morning coffee. 

  
  
  
  


“Hey Takashi,” Adam leaned into Shiro’s side, his voice hushed to a stage whisper. Shiro grunted in response, trying to finish scribbling his notes for the class since he’d fallen asleep too early the night before.   
“ _ Takashi _ .” Adam poked at Shiro’s shoulder in an attempt to gain his attention. Shiro finally gave in when the poking continued.   
He turned to Adam with a huff and immediately faltered; attractive as the boy was, no one could pull off those glasses. 

His dark eyes were framed by horrific hot pink glasses with glittering letters saying ‘swag’ sitting on top.   
“What do you think?” Adam asked, his voice laced with laughter as he modelled the monstrosity of an accessory.   
Shiro covered his mouth, shaking his head slowly as he stifled laughter into his fingertips.  
“I can’t possibly answer that honestly,” he said. 

Adam laughed loud and wide and Shiro felt his weak heart flutter in his chest. Adam pushed the glasses down so they were perched on the tip of his nose and admitted, “I cannot see your expression for shit so I’m going to assume you’re in awe of the costume jewellery I found in my old high school stuff.”   
Shiro openly laughed at Adam’s explanation, “Something like that.” 

With a series of performed poses Adam draped himself in his chair. “You don’t think I look,” he popped his hip, “Sexy and cool.” Shiro found himself utterly too enamoured with Adam’s ridiculousness and very trying to resist the urge to cover his dumb face in kisses; so he did the next best thing. Reaching up he took the glasses off Adam’s face with gentle fingers.  
“Sexy and cool for sure, but definitely more so without the glasses.”   
They were still for a moment, the lecture hall orbiting around them in a separate universe. Shiro had managed to catch Adam off guard, which meant he was able to see the way his lips gaped open, the dusting of blush along his cheekbones, the shuddering breath, before Adam covered it all up again with a smirk. 

“Like what you see Takashi?” He breathed and Shiro felt every nerve in his body catch on fire. His fingers twitched towards Adam. He wanted to be closer. He  _ needed  _ to be closer. He swallowed heavily and shifted himself away. He had a child to look after. 

“Don’t let it go to your head,” he teased. 

  
  
  
  


Shiro took a large gulp of coffee, praying the caffeine would make up for the all nighter he had pulled the night before to finish his assignment.   
“So be honest with me,” Adam broke the comfortable silence between them, leaning forward so his chin was resting on his open hand. Shiro nodded at him to continue. “How often do you go to the gym in order to be  _ that  _ hot?” 

The words left Shiro spluttering into his cup, the coffee stuck in his throat from swallowing too fast, too suddenly. Adam raised an eyebrow at him, stifling giggles into his fist unapologetically.   
“I’m just saying these muscles don’t happen overnight,” Adam shrugged as he trailed a finger along Shiro’s bicep. Shiro was dead, it was official, he was deceased, he hadn’t even gotten around to writing a will yet. 

“I work out um- I work out at home,” he stammered, acutely aware of the movement of Adam’s finger as it continued trailing along his arm. Was he still breathing? Up for debate.   
Adam whistled low and long, retreating his finger with one final poke at the muscle of Shiro’s shoulder.  
“That’s…” he trailed off and Shiro was left sitting with a racing heart waiting for the rest of the sentence. 

“That’s?” Shiro prompted, heart thundering against his rib cage. Adam made a noise of acknowledgement but didn’t make any move to answer. His eyes were glazed and hazy, Shiro was a little bit smitten for the softened line of his jaw as his mouth hung open.   
Swallowing and taking a careful sip of his coffee while waiting for his heart to settle Shiro shrugged, taking it upon himself to continue the conversation. “You’re not so bad yourself.”   
Adam snapped out of his stupor with wide eyes and faintly flushed cheeks, “Huh?”.   
Shiro was immensely proud every time he managed to be the cause of the boy’s blush. 

He leaned in slightly with a wolfish grin, enjoying the way the blush on Adam’s cheekbones darkened.   
“It’s a compliment,” Shiro explained, speaking deliberately slowly as though teaching a baby a new concept. “What I’m saying is you are objectively attractive.”   
“Right. Objectively,” Adam mumbled, eyes still widened in shock.   
“What’s wrong? Can’t take a compliment?”   
“From a specimen like yourself? Not easily.”   
Shiro scoffed (huh, maybe that was where Keith was getting it from) and shoved Adam’s shoulder lightly. It was effective in diffusing the situation, but every part of Shiro longed for that dumbstruck expression to return as Adam returned to his usual put together manner. 

“You’re a flirt.” 

“Only with you.” Adam winked and Shiro wished he meant what he was saying. 

  
  
  
  


He tucked the blanket around Keith so it was a little more snug, adjusting Kosmo in the young boy’s grip so he was holding to toy tightly in a cuddle. Keith let out a little snore, snuggling into the cushions of the pull out couch. The lounge room was mostly dark, aside from the light of the moon and the glow-in-the-dark stars Shiro had put up for Keith a month into their living together. 

_ “You know,” Keith had mumbled, staring at the packet of sticky stars in the supermarket. When he was sure Shiro was listening he continued, “There’s more stars at home than here.”   
_ _ That was all he had said, but Shiro hadn’t hesitated to grab the packet and three others. They put the stars up together that night, Keith passing them up to Shiro to stick to the ceiling of Keith’s “bedroom”, a small smile on his face the whole time. Back then, that had been a massive win for Shiro.  _

He shuffled to his room, exhaustion settling into his bones; his muscles seemed to be filled with lead, the product of two five hours shifts intertwined with a full day at college. A buzzing noise cut him out of his thoughts, he turned to his phone. The screen was flashing, screen name alerting him to the fact it was Adam calling - he cursed his heart for jumping at just seeing the name - and he scrambled to answer. 

“Hi?” 

“Takashi!” Adam seemed surprised to hear him.   
“Why so shocked? You called me,” Shiro teased gently, flopping backwards onto his bed like the lovesick teenager he was. 

Adam laughed gently into the receiver and Shiro’s stomach flipped at the soft sound, if he could fight an army to hear that sound again he would.   
“Didn’t think I was gonna do it,” Adam said, his tone honest and soft in a way it rarely was but Shiro was hearing more and more often.   
“It’s just me,” Shiro reassured.  
Adam laughed again, self-deprecating in nature, but genuine all the same, “I guess it is.” 

There was a silence where they were both just breathing. It should have been uncomfortable, awkward with the lack of conversation, but it wasn’t. Shiro relaxed into the silence, his body unwinding to the sound of Adam’s breaths. He was too far gone, that his every molecule could be put at rest just by being near Adam.   
“Takashi?” Adam asked softly.   
“Yeah?” The peculiarity of this phone call was finally getting to Shiro, how nervous and fragile Adam was, everything about it was strange. 

“If I ask you something will you be honest?” Adam checked and Shiro shot up, eyebrows furrowed in concern. He mumbled his agreement and Adam swallowed roughly, the sound crackling through the speaker.   
“Do you want to go out with me next Friday?” 

Everything went very still in Shiro’s mind. He could cry. This was everything he wanted, he wanted Adam so badly it made him shatter from his core to his fingertips, but he couldn’t. 

“I  _ can’t _ ,” he choked on the word.   
The silence seemed to drag and it was no longer comfortable, he listened to Adam take a deep shuddering breath.   
“Okay, I’m really sorry Takashi I shouldn’t have assumed you felt the same way.” There was a tremble in Adam’s voice and Shiro couldn’t stand it.   
“No!” He blurted out, internally smacking himself. He was only dragging Adam along at this point, but he couldn’t help it.   
“I-I do feel the same way.” 

There was another silence on Adam’s end before he sighed deeply. “I understand if you don’t, but please just tell me. Don’t-” His voice broke off with a crack and with it Shiro’s heart splintered, “don’t pretend, _please_.”   
Shiro took a deep breath, consequences be damned. He couldn’t listen to Adam like this. 

“I do feel the same way, just… you live near me, yeah?” He heard Adam shuffle on the other end, mumbling a  _ yeah  _ before continuing. “Come over, please, I need to tell you this in person.”   
Any other person would have called Shiro crazy, would have demanded he tell them immediately and not risk being rejected in person; but Adam had never been any other person. 

No less than ten minutes later, there was a knock at the front door and Shiro was opening it with a finger to his lips and his heart in his throat. Adam obeyed without question, although he did raise an eyebrow at Shiro’s behaviour. Shiro pointed to Adam’s shoes and watched as he pulled them off without a second thought, putting the pair in line with Keith and Shiro’s collection at the door.   
“Just trust me, I’ll explain in a second,” Shiro whispered. 

He took one slow deep breath and began an explanation in a hushed voice.   
“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you, I really  _ really  _ like you.” Shiro smiled to himself at the awestruck expression on Adam’s face. He continued with a nervous clench of his hands. “It’s just that I really can’t give you the time you deserve because well-“ He broke off and beckoned for Adam to follow him. “It’s easier if I just show you.” 

They tip-toed into the lounge and Shiro heard Adam’s sharp inhale of breath at the sight of Keith curled up on the bed.   
“This is Keith,” he whispered, gently stroking the young boy’s hair out of his eyes as he stirred in his sleep, “he’s my adopted brother I guess. I’m raising him.”   
“ _ Takashi _ ,” Adam whispered, his voice overwhelmed with shock. Shiro tried not to wince at the ‘deer caught in the headlights’ look of the boy, all wide eyed and tense. 

He eased Adam into his own bedroom to allow them to have an easier conversation. Adam lowered himself onto the bed slowly with a half-hearted joke of, “I kinda hoped if I was getting on your bed it’d be under different circumstances,” Shiro tried (and failed) not to choke on his own spit, “and that it’d be more clear whether this was a rejection or not.” 

Shiro sat beside him with a fake laugh, “I wish we could have that too, I just can’t do that to you.”   
“Takashi you’re raising a kid on your own,” Adam deadpanned, “I’m hardly in a difficult situation.”   
Shiro shrugged half-heartedly and was a second away from responding when Adam groaned head falling forward into his hands.   
“No wonder you were so reluctant to meet up after class,” he said, eyes wide and horrified, “ _ and  _ why you’re always working.”   
He could only watch as these realisations hit Adam tenfold, before Adam was looking up at him with an expression so utterly besotted that Shiro forgot how to breathe. 

“You should’ve told me!” Adam exclaimed. “I would’ve helped,” he insisted and Shiro shook his head.   
“I didn’t want to lose you.” Shiro hated the way his voice shook at his admittance and the scandalised look on Adam’s face only made him laugh sheepishly.   
“God, how do you have time to get through college?” Adam asked incredulously and Shiro shrugged, scratching the back of his head.   
“I wonder that every day.” 

He squeezed his eyes shut and prepared for the worst part of this conversation.   
“So you get why I can’t be with you,” he said, hesitantly opening his eyes to meet Adam’s. They were impassive, impossible to read, but concerned at the forefront. “It would be  _ horrible  _ for you, I can’t do that to you. I don’t have time for dates. I definitely don’t have alone time. I can’t give you what you deserve.” 

“Takashi,” Adam said.   
Shiro continued, the words spilling out of him keeping them under a lid for so long, the bubbling arguments and emotion pouring out in bursts, “I’m constantly doing stuff, between two jobs and college and getting Keith where he needs to be.”  
“ _ Takashi,”  _ Adam tried again to interrupt him but Shiro couldn’t stop now, he had to explain himself.   
“I just couldn’t take you to nice restaurants or to the beach and I-“ he was cut off by a finger on his lips. 

“Takashi,” Adam soothed, his voice molten with affection that seemed to run Shiro’s blood warm. “Shut up.”   
He scooted himself closer and Shiro stopped breathing for a second, losing all sense of logic as his affection seemed to sing. |  
“This so called ‘horrible’ experience,” Adam said the word horrible as though it was a joke, his eyes crinkling in a way so Shiro was lost in them. “Will you be a part of it?”   
Shiro exhaled shakily and nodded because he couldn’t trust his own voice with Adam so close to him. 

Adam smiled at him so brightly that he could rival the sun. Shiro wanted to fight the sun for him.   
“Then I want it,” Adam said simply, emphasising his point with a shrug.   
Before Shiro could finish spluttering in indignation, ready to argue back with reasons about why Adam shouldn’t do that to himself Adam was shushing him. 

“I want anything that’s with you. I want to have dates where your kid is sitting between us as we eat pizza and I want to share kisses before and after class before you have to run for your lunch job.” Shiro wanted to pinch himself all up and down his arms because this couldn’t possibly be real. “I want to look after Keith for you so you don’t have to stress and treat you with kisses when you get home,” Adam seemed slightly breathless himself with his own admission. He blushed before leaning close and brushing their noses together. 

“If it’s with you I want it.”  
Shiro was speechless, his mouth hanging open wide and words scrambled in his brain.   
“If you want it that is,” Adam hurried to add.

“I want it,” Shiro admitted in one breath, moving closer so Adam’s breath was fanning across his lips.   
Adam laughed, the sound soft and joyous, the feeling of it tickled Shiro’s mouth they were so close. “Then kiss me you asshole.” 

The request had barely left Adam’s lips before Shiro was closing the gap between them. A dual sigh mingling between their chaste kiss.

Kissing Adam was like finally taking a deep breath after a marathon, the relief of breathing after holding it. It was the sweet taste of cold lemonade on a scorching day, the feeling of the cold cutting through the oppressive heat. It was the grounding sensation of solid land after spending too long swaying on a boat. Kissing Adam was some kind of magic Shiro had never felt before, it was real, and raw, and he felt like he had been waiting for it forever.   
The kiss didn’t last long before they were breaking apart with a gasp and foreheads leant together. 

“You understand I won’t be able to take you out.” Shiro confirmed and Adam laughed breathlessly in a way that made Shiro surge forward to capture him in a kiss again; because he  _ could _ .   
He pulled away and Adam groaned, trying to chase Shiro’s lips making it near impossible to keep them apart, because Shiro was weak damn it.   
“You realise I won’t be able to be well… too intimate,” he blushed ducking his head to avoid Adam’s smirk. “Since I always have a kid here and all.” 

Shiro felt a hand gently tuck under his chin to tip his head back towards Adam and the soft attention in the action left his heart thundering.   
“I’ve been able to keep myself satisfied on my own for a while now,” Adam teased, “I’m sure I can keep it up a bit longer.” 

With a smile Shiro nodded and moved to reconnect their lips when Adam turned his head with an amused laugh.   
“Although,” he hummed, eyes raking down Shiro’s body slowly and deliberately, before dragging them back up to his face with a knowing shit-eating grin, “that _is_ one thing I would like to sort out at some point.” 

Shiro swallowed, his mouth suddenly incredibly dry and nodded again slowly. Adam grinned wolfishly and seized Shiro by the shoulders, “Now, I believe we were doing something?”   
Shiro didn’t hesitate to to crash their lips together again. 

  
  
  
  


“ _ SHIRO,”  _ A hissed voice said directly into his ear and Shiro jerked awake, simultaneously jostling the person sleeping on his chest.   
He blinked the sleep out of his eyes to see Keith’s wide violet eyes blinking back at him. “Wuzzamatta?” Shiro slurred, half asleep.   
“There’s a  _ man  _ in your  _ bed _ ,” Keith hissed louder this time and the ‘man’ stirred. 

The events of the last night rushed back to Shiro leaving him with a blush on his cheeks and a smile on his lips as he glanced down to see Adam groggily sitting up. After a fair amount of kissing the night before Adam had admitted that he ran to Shiro’s and, horrified, Shiro had refused to let him leave, hence resulting in them sharing a bed. As Shiro looked down at the boy now he had to admit, sleep rumpled Adam was cute. 

“It’s okay Keith,” Shiro reassured him, “This is Adam.”   
Keith looked hesitant, but he clambered into the bed beside Shiro, tucking into his side with a nervous wave at Adam.   
Adam - now more awake - smiled back warmly in that way that made Shiro’s stomach flip. “It’s nice to meet you Keith.”   
Keith nodded shyly, grabbing Shiro’s ear with his small hand and tugging it down.   
“Is Adam your boyfriend?” He whispered, Shiro winced at the hot breath hitting his ear, blushing at the question. 

He glanced at Adam, realising they’d never truly gone over labels, too busy… introducing their mouths to each other. He turned to look at a patiently curious Keith and said, “I don’t really know buddy, why don’t you ask him.”   
Keith stared back at him like he was insane for a few seconds before shrugging and doing as Shiro suggested. 

“Are you Shiro’s boyfriend?” He asked and Adam’s cheeks heated up in a way that made Shiro want to cover them in kisses.   
Their eyes locked and the smile in Adam’s eyes was enough to send Shiro’s heart racing and heating his face further.   
“I think so yeah,” Adam answered Keith, eyes not leaving Shiro’s.   
Keith nodded decisively, shuffling across Shiro’s lap so he was positioned between the two of them, “Then I like you. ‘Cause Shiro likes you.” 

“Just between you and me,” Adam stage whispered, “I like him a little bit too.” This ridiculous admission sent Keith into a fit of giggles and Shiro grinned at the two of them, his smile threatening to split his face in two.   
“Be careful. He cries a lot,” Keith warned with a pseudo solemn expression.   
Adam laughed loudly at that and ruffled Keith’s hair much to the young boy’s disgruntlement. “I’ll keep that in mind buddy.”

Shiro watched as Keith introduced Adam to Kosmo and Adam made a big show of ‘shaking hands’ with every one of his four legs much to Keith’s delight. He felt tears sting his eyes as Keith smiled, thinking of the boy who had refused to shake his hand at the airport. The tears began to flow freely as he watched Adam smile and joke with him, thinking about how he almost didn’t allow this to happen for himself.   
As the two boys noticed his soft crying, Keith rolled his eyes and snuggled into Shiro’s side with a barely concealed smile. He turned to Adam and said, “Told you so.” 

Adam snickered at the sass but didn’t respond, leaning forward to capture Shiro’s lips in a chaste kiss. He was smiling too widely for their lips to meet much at all. 

The symphony of Keith complaining about them being gross and Adam’s laughter was all Shiro wanted to listen to for the rest of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!  
i'm on both twitter ([frecklylance](https://twitter.com/frecklyIance)) and tumblr ([frecklyylance](https://frecklyylance.tumblr.com/)) so if you wanna come chat with me i'd love to hear from you!  



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